Batman Returns!!!

Wow. The wife and I saw Batman Begins this weekend that the local multiplex. What a grat movie. This is the best Batman film so far, in my opinion, topping even Tim Burton's 1989 version. That said, I stil lhave a few nits to pick because, well, I'm picky.

Oh, and some kids were talking in the beginning of the film before I told them to SHUT UP! What's with people that they talk through films. I'm really getting sick of it. We need ushers in the theatres for the first few minutes of the film to shine their flashlights at chatty types and help them out of the theatre if necessary. A few minutes should do it. Anyway, they might have had a negative impact on my disposition and, thus, this review.

Spoilers abound so read on at your own risk...

Batman begins follows the early life and first adventures of Bruce Wayne (played by a superb Christian Bale) as he becomes Batman. We see him as a child discovering the cave. We see him with his parents as they are gunned down by the very lowlifes that his father, Thomas Wayne (Linus Roache), has been trying to help with his philanthopic activities. We see him train in Asia, taught by Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) and return to Gotham with his resolve hardened. We see the relationship between Bruce and his butler Alfred (I'm Michael Caine) and with his company, Wayne Enterprises. How does he get his cool Batstuff? We find out. And then we see him go toe to toe with not one but two baddies, Scarecrow and Ra's Al Ghoul.

Excellent performances by most and a good hard-boiled approach to The Batman. I felt Bale, Caine, and Freeman do excellent jobs in their roles. Ever since I saw Equilibrium a few years ago I've felt that Christian Bale would make a great Batman, and I was right! (If you haven't seen Equilibrium yet, do so now.) Gary Oldman was good as Gordon and the rest of the actors were passable in their roles, including Katie Holmes (who seemed chilly in her last scene).

I'll go into my usual bullet-points of good, bad and other.

The Goods:

• Bale is outstanding as Bruce Wayne and great as Batman. Previous Bruce Wayne's (Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney, West) didn't quite capture the character but Bale nailed it. From the "Does it come in black?" when test driving the Batmobile to the hotel purchasing scene, Bale is top notch. His Batman was great too, limited more by the direction than his skills, and giving the character a great gravelly voice. Best Batman ever!
• Caine as Alfred. I really liked Michael Gough's portrayal of the character in the Burton version and was afraid that Caine wouldn't do a good job. I had nothing to fear, it seems. Caine pulls off the character marvelously.
• No jokes allowed. This isn't the campy 1966 movie with Adam West or the awful Batman and Robin with Clooney. This is dead serious Batman, similar to the Burton film but without the Joker to joke around. Sure, there were funny bits but this isn't a comedy. This is serious Batman. And that's a Good Thing(TM).
• The Batmobile. When I first saw pictures and clips of the Batmobile driving around Chicago my reaction was, "eh." I wasn't excited. I had no problems with the H2 version of the Batmobile but there was no thrill either. That's changed. The Batmobile in Batman Begins rocks.
• Evolution. We get to see enough of Bruce before his parents die to see the change when they are killed. We get to see the morally lost young man become the focused adult. We get to see him piece together his plan as he goes. And it is cool.
• Focus on Batman! For once we get a movie about Batman. Burton's films were about the villains. Schumacher's were about flash and villains. Always the stories focused more on the bad guys than on Batman and Bruce Wayne and they were the poorer for it. This movie gives enough background of the bad guys for us to know them but really hones in on Bruce Wayne and Batman in a way that is respectful and deep. It is something that the other films lacked, even the great 1989 Burton film.
• The fight scenes. It was an interesting idea to do Batman-as-Alien and they do it well. Not perfectly but well.

The Bads:

• Bat armor. Sandy Collera's short film, Batman: Dead End, demonstrated that the Batman can work in tights. Of course, in Batman Begins we get body armor. So what's scarier -- a guy in tights that you can't seem to kill or a guy in bulletproof armor? This is Batman, not Iron Man, for crying out loud. At least there weren't Bat-nipples.
• The cape-glider deal. I have no problem with Batman using a glider occasionally and they did it excellently in this film. But enough is enough and they went too far with it. Flying is Superman's milieu, not Batman's. A scene or two here and there would have been great but they overdid it.
• Ninja Batman. Ok, I grew up in the 80s and loved everything Ninja, from the bad movies to the magazines to the books. That's all good. And I can see how Batman would benefit from ninja training. However, Batman is the "Darknight Detective", not the "Gotham Ninja." Have him be a detective. Even in the Burton film they got this right, with Batman finding the antidote to the Joker's laughing gas. Here he uses Morton Freeman's character. Batman is an action hero but he is much more than that. Give us the Darknight Detective.
• A huge plot hole. The bad guys are using a Microwave Doohicky (I told you there were spoilers) to steamify the water supply in Gotham. So why aren't people, made up of 80% water, exploding like German toads?

Ah well, nothing's perfect.

I give it ***1/2.